*trigger warning: this post is to promote body positivity- if talking about eating disorders or self-imagine triggers you, I understand if you skip this one 💕*
stop listening to society; start listening to yourself.
Quit criticizing yourself for the body you see in the mirror. You are absolutely beautiful and I want you to know this. I want you to learn to love your body just the way it is.
Your brain can distort your reflection in the mirror to appear as something from a fun house – but I’m here to tell you that you’re perfect.
Listening to your story and inner dialog breaks my heart. You have experienced a lot of painful things and been through a lot and I hate the way you speak to yourself — I just want to wake you up.
If you could see yourself through a clearer lens, you would see your body image is warped- what you see is not as it appears.
You learned to hate your body at such a young age.
You were conditioned to have a certain view or opinion of how your body should look. You dreamed of looking like a Barbie or the models in the magazines, no matter how disproportionate they were.
Unfortunately, you were taught that you are not good enough the way you are, and for that, I deeply apologize. You were taught to fear food and the number on the scale. You were compelled to think that the number you saw defined who you are.
But looking back, that’s not where it started.
Other people did a great job of reinforcing this and that the smaller you were, the closer to the “perfect body” you were. Always being complimented on how skinny you were and how jealous they were of the slender features you had was a great motivator. Though some said these things directly, others taught you this through action.
I have put you through so much with fad/crash diets advertised in these magazines, on tv and from social media, outrageous calorie restrictions, depriving you of certain foods all together, and worst of all, developing unrealistic expectations for you. I forced you to withhold yourself from the foods you loved for fear it would ruin what we worked so hard to achieve.
I hate that you learned to have an abusive relationship with food at such a young age.
I made you feel unworthy of food. Unworthy of eating the extra calories in your favorite ice cream and desserts. Starved you to the point it would begin to cause physical pain.
It started at home, continued into high school, then spilled into every aspect of life.
You heard the put-downs from Grandma every time you put on a few extra pounds, but she didn’t realize she was harming you in the way it was. All the negative comments about the weight of those around you hurt.
You were reminded of this every spring and summer when it became expected to have that “perfect summer body” to show in skimpy clothes and bikinis. You were reminded every time you opened a magazine, were watching tv or a movie, and, worst of all, through your obsession with America’s Next Top Model at such a young age.
From there, the hole that was dug for you only got deeper.
You saw it when others stood in the mirror in the locker room complaining about the 5 pounds they needed to lose daily. You heard it from family. You saw how unhappy everyone around you was with their own body.
You heard it from friends making fun of and judging others based on their body size and were terrified of becoming the butt of that joke.
Those experiences may not have seemed like a big deal at first, but you soaked it all in like the sun; to look acceptable you have to be skinny.
To be a beautiful woman, you had to be able to squeeze into those size 2 Hollister jeans. You had to keep the word x-small on the tag on the back of your shirt.
You learned that skinny was considered beautiful. You learned that being skinny meant being worthy and got you the attention you craved. Society taught you that your body was only worth loving if it was a certain size.
Now, you are paying the price.
You are paying the price of those years you were deprived of nutrients and necessary fats. You are suffering the consequences of not eating for 2 days at a time and exercising excessively.
Your self-view is now so distorted that you only see a number on that scale or a size on that tag. You believe that even though others are constantly telling you that you are now too small, you are still not beautiful enough.
I want to apologize to you – my mind, body and soul.
I want to tell you that I am so sorry for all I’ve put you through. For all the things and joy in life I deprived you of. I want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are.
Your worthiness and beauty are not defined by your size. You define what you view as beautiful and are worth so much more than what your body looks like.
I allowed weight gain to become a phobia and I hate that for you.
No longer allow your distorted inner thoughts control your life.
You don’t want to pass this turmoil on to your kids one day. You don’t want the younger generation to struggle the way you did.
Love your body anyway!
I have some advice for you. One is that I hope you soak up as much of this as you did all the negativity you have been taught regarding your body. Next, I want to empower you and strengthen your ability to fight to celebrate the body you have.
To love your body unconditionally — it is the only one you get.
Stop obsessing over the numbers. Don’t allow your mirror to come from a fun house anymore. Take a good and honest look at yourself and realize you are perfect the way you are.
The standards set for the “perfect body” will change so many more times in your lifetime. You will always feel the pressure to “measure up” to society’s standards, but it is not worth it. It is time for you to fight.
While it is not ok to have to do these things, it is a sad reality in today’s lifestyle. We may be able to make fundamental changes to society’s views eventually, but this is a long process, and I want you to love your body now!
I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin.
You are uniquely and beautifully you. These struggles with loving your body are part of our humanity.
Hear me out.
Most people do not meet the current “standard of beauty” society defines.
It is finally time to stop believing these absurd ideas that the number you see on that scale or on that clothing tag measure your worth. Let go of the unrealistic expectations you have set for yourself that no longer serve you. The expectations that aren’t healthy for you.
Your size and weight don’t change how beautiful you are. These numbers are completely insignificant in defining your worth as a person and how valuable you are to the world.
Stop treating them as the most important measure of who you are as a person.
You are beautiful and amazing just the way you are. 💜
You are more than worthy just the way you are. 🖤
You are capable, smart, caring, compassionate, endearing, likable, desirable, and a plain badass JUST AS YOU ARE. 💛
I hope you finally learn to accept yourself and disregard the numbers. Put away the scale.
Let others see you love your body and inspire them to do the same. Show the world that you are strong, capable, and worthy and that your body doesn’t define that.
You are worth the hard work.
What a breathtaking thing to give yourself? It is such a life-changing gift to learn to love your body. To look in the mirror or at pictures of yourself and not feel ashamed or disgusted.
Shifting your thoughts and beliefs about your body and what it should look like is a lot of hard work, but you have to do it. Screw the standards of beauty everyone else has put in place and create your own standards. Decide that you are beautiful and worthy.
You deserve to love yourself and feel worthy, regardless of what the numbers say.
With love,
-cg<3
P.S. I want to give a shout-out to one of my dearest friends, Angela, for inspiring this post and to my cousin, Kaylan, for helping me be brave enough to share 💕
This post is amazing. So well said. And it hits close to home today. Thank you for sharing this important message! Praying I can get it to sink in today. 🙂
Thank you so much for the kind words! It means a lot to hear it helped you 💜 Sending you positive energy for the day ✨